Here's why:
One child has doting grandparents on both sides who spoil the child rotten with toys and with clothing beyond what one child can possibly wear in a year. (Three brand-new coats within two months.)
The other child has... no one.
So I end up taking back the presents I bought for one child in order to buy more for the other to balance things out. And I spend the week after Christmas taking things away from the first child who has turned into a raging brat.
Then, with myriads of extended families (my own, as well as theirs) I cannot keep everyone connected and happy during the holidays. My school break ends up getting so carved up that I never get to spend time with my own small children building our own traditions. I love all the extended families. And I love all the half-siblings my children have. But I can't please any of them. I'm seriously considering going abroad for the holidays next year -- and not telling anyone!
Plus also (as Junie B. Jones would say), Christmas is all about family, and babies, and perfection. And my little family is cobbled together from odds and ends. Some very odd bits. And loose, ragged ends. And the complete inequality between the two children only emphasizes again that these children -- in spite of paperwork -- are not really mine. And I am not really their real mom.
Merry Christmas.
