Beach Vacation



An attempt at mass burial of the middle-sized cousins



After spending a week at the beach with nine children and eight adults, I've come to realize that adults and children have completely different definitions for phrases:

"trip to the beach"

Adults: leisurely strolling along the sand, watching the waves and seabirds, or simply sitting on the beach, soaking up the rays



Children: running wildly in and out of the surf, daring each other to go out further each time, flinging sand, lugging driftwood into the water to watch it trip unwary waders, and burying each other up to the chin in sand





"beach clothes"

Adults: swimsuit/trunks or sundress or beach wrap

Children: clothes?  at the beach?  why?

"soak in the hot tub"

Adults: relaxing in the warm bubbles, easing the knots in muscles, sipping a cold drink

Children: turning the bubbles on and off, plugging the nozzles to make all the bubbles come out of one nozzle, playing who can hold his breath the longest?, dunking each other, launching bodies off the adult who is trying to relax

"go for a hike"

Adults: trudge up a mountain path, avoiding the mud, enjoying the flora and fauna, rest at the top to enjoy the view and take photos

Children: run zigzag uphill near a mountain path, hitting every mud puddle on the way, stopping only to poke an unwary salamander, tumble around in the flowers at the top before running haphazardly downhill to smear mud on the interior of the cars

The unlucky amphibian



"play with cousins"

Adult: Sorry, catch, tag, Frisbee, Chess, etc.

Children: pick up the smaller cousins and use them as missiles to knock the bigger ones down the stairs

"go fishing"

Adults: bait a hook, cast, wait in silence, reel in, repeat

Children: pull worms to bits, bait a hook, cast, reel in 3 seconds later, complain about not catching anything, cast again, catch lakeweed, reel in with help, fight over who has the bigger worm, bait, cast, get help to untangle line from cousin's neck, cast again, drop rod in water, go wading fully clothed, strip down to beach clothes*, swim until lips are blue, cry about having wet clothes to put on

*see "beach clothes"

"bed time"

Adults: 8 o'clock

Children: We're on vacation!  What do you mean bedtime?!